Wednesday, March 05, 2008


Kar Yie the cute usher. =D

Tuesday, March 04, 2008


teachers =D

for from the first day
that you set your heart to understand
and to humble yourself before your God,
your words were heard;
and I have come because of your words.
daniel 10:12

but the people who know their God
shall be strong,
and carry out great exploits.
daniel 11:32

Monday, March 03, 2008


a kind of bee?
no, it is a surname.

hi mr applebee.
hi mrs applebee.



my cell group.

anggy n i up the school's rooftop

fly away!

Friday, February 29, 2008

i knew it was to come.

it is part of the hostel experience.
every hostel-lite says so.

my room-mate had to be away for two nights.

when she was around,
at night,
we would back-face each other and do our own stuff on our own computers.

it was when i didnt have her around,
that the absence of it leads to the awakening,
that people need people!!!
even if it is just the physical presence,
it makes all the difference.

it felt horrible having no humans around.
that guy in "legend" - the only human left in his area. oh gosh.
guess i felt a tinge of what he felt.

people need people.

God made us social beings what.
oh ya.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

chanced upon a page of a book,
in which i wrote on sometime back.

i wrote on that page my dreams.

bible school - yes.
NIE - yes.
graduate from nus with cap 3.2 - yes.
stay in hostel and have much time to read all i want - yes.

God is so good.
along the course of life,
we can forget how good God is to us.

its true.
i remember how insecure, friendless and not confident i was.
i remember i stuttered a lot.
i remember desiring a wider view of things.
i remember wanting to be happier person.

i remember how tiring life was in nus,
rushing about,
having so many tuition students.

i so enjoy hostel life in nie now.

im still on my journey to cell group leadership,
im still awaiting the arrival of mr right.

but yeah,
God has been so so good.

wrote this in a notebook quite long ago.

2 jan 08, 11.38am

its a conscious choice, decision
each step of the way.
the choice to love,
the choice to be there.
it is rarely convenient.
it takes something out of me,
it takes a chosen sacrifice.

but i focus on the purpose.
i obey god.

i want to see darkness in the hearts of people dispelled.
i want to see love and light illuminating their hearts.
i want people to come to experience the love of Christ.
i want people to come to the knowledge of the Lord.
i want people to find their purpose in the lord.

a life of love,
a love of purpose.


Jeremy turns 21!!! =D

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

proud of you!

integrity pays.
even better results u'll have.
you can, you can, you can!
pastor faith!!!


Monday, February 25, 2008

i really need to clear some messages.

i save those meaningful messages you see.
but phone memory space really dont permit liao.

zhizang 18 nov 07 09:12:04am
ok.. i hope is not a serious matter. =)
(i cant remember what happened, but it showed her maturity and concern. => )

rouping 20 jan 08 04:48:02am
i pray and pray liao but still swollen lei.
will it(gum) be healed?
(a faith in god. a wanting to believe. but reality doesnt match up.
but hey sweetheart... bad things sometimes do happen to good people... don focus on the situation, but trust in the character of god n don give up k?)

delicia 20 aug 2007 12:25:37am
omg, i think i jz spoke in tongues. jz nw i was praying for tongues speaking during my quiet time when i suddenly speak out a string of words that i dnt understand. i keep "la la la" loh... so that means i can speak in tongues?! yay!
(that joy and excitement at receiving the holy spirit. i rem i was so happy. =D)


Sunday, February 24, 2008

this song "bleeding love" sounds real cool.
i altared the lyrics.
this is about Jesus.
He bled alot on the cross.


Closed off from love
I didn’t need the pain
I tried making better
And it was all in vain
My world turns cold
Before I know it I’m frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with You
My heart melts into the ground
Found something True
And everyone’s looking round
Thinking I’m going crazy

But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with You
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the Truth
My heart’s overwhelmed by You
That I am so happy
Your love turn my life around

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You keep bleeding
You keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
For Your love for me

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing’s greater
Than the warmth that comes with Your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your Face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I’m going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with You
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the Truth
My heart’s overwhelmed by You
That I am so happy
Your love turn my life around

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You keep bleeding
You keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
For Your love for me

Tho it’s draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I’ll be bearing the cross
For everyone to see

I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s overwhelmed by You
That I am so happy
Your love turn my life around

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You keep bleeding
You keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
For the love You have for me ....

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You keep bleeding
You keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
For the love You have
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love

with love and with all sincerity.
i do you no wrong.
i only pray we'll see things from the same perspective soon.

was on duty and hence sat away from my cell group.
towards the end of the service,
i spotted them directly opposite me.
i was at east, they, west.
the entire row and more.

looked at every face.
realised almost everyone was there today.
at least all of those dearest to my heart.

no one gets left behind.
we're a spiritual family.
we run together this race,
we finish this race together.
no one to be left behind.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Just woke up.

What an interesting week.
mid-sem break.

had the infamous grammar test.
btw, result out.
i passed the test.
praise God! =D
celebrated kailin's, weihao's birthday.

discovered that the hostel gym opens 20hrs per week!
wrote assignment's podcast script.
followed kailin and jaslyn to the liondance troupe.
made interesting observations.
guosheng came along and we asked him to take us through the lorongs of geylang.

had fun podcasting with melvyn n jieying.
sandy n i companied rouping to the polyclinic.
christine arranged a meetup with two other ones.
back to timbre.
farwelled keeyong.

sandy's graduation.
rica's dance competition.

a class.
david's birthday.
"mastering your money" course.
overnight prayer meeting.

here i am.


pastor told us of the various works of the church all over asia.
proud to be part of such a great work.

we desire to make an impact.
let us truly be able to do so.
effective and have fruits that are strong and will remain.
and not allow undue distractions lure us away from the focus.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

i need to know im doing things the best way.

i need to know im holding onto the right things.

i need to know that the seeds i sow will bear fruits to eternity.

i need to know that there are stability, strength and character involved.

i need to know that people don't succumb so easily.

i need to know i'm living life in Your will and with Your power.

enough of being weak.
enough of being unfruitful.
enough of staying the same.

i need to explode from within.
i need Your special touch once again.

we need regular personal breakthroughs.
we don't want stagnant lives, do we?


on the phone... in hostel..

fren: Estelle, are you in a bird-shop?

that's how birdy my area is.

the other morning, two birds were fighting at 7am.
please la. fight at a later time can?
we were still sleeping lor.
so noisy.

you realise,
after so long,
you're still doing the same, old thing.
and you wonder why this is so.

a longer preparation stage?
you haven pass the test?
or are you just too complacent?
or are you just not hungry enough for the breakthrough?

i think purpose is so important.
everything we do is to have meaning.
that includes having fun with friends,
that, is a purpose too.

but ya,
when we dont see the value in what we do,
we float through life
in such meaningless.
its a very yucky feeling.

if getting ahead meant doing the wrong thing,
would you?

if no one was watching,
would you still push for the best?

if no one stopped to help,
would you?

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

[c=4] ★[/c] FAITH [: ESTELLE is the one i love : D says:
u noe now i very xinku. but i choose to praise and worship God
[c=4] ★[/c] FAITH [: ESTELLE is the one i love : D says:
: D
[c=4] ★[/c] FAITH [: ESTELLE is the one i love : D says:
cos i remember u said during the last bible study that when we are depress or worried or sick
[c=4] ★[/c] FAITH [: ESTELLE is the one i love : D says:
praise and worship God will help.
[c=4] ★[/c] FAITH [: ESTELLE is the one i love : D says:

we all want to be effective.

nobody wants to use a dull axehead,
for it will take forever to get the tree down.

sharpen sharpen.
and the best human sharpener is none other than
mr holy spirit.


the toilet door slams itself so loud,
i wonder how the toilet's direct neighbour stands it.
i'm lucky to be 5 units away from it.

sleeps to the symphony of insect sounds,
the crickets leading.
wakes up to the chirping of birds.

everywhere you turn,
it is a tree, or a bush,
green green
beautiful green.

wonderful. =D

the gym opens 20 hours a day.

throw all your dirty clothes in,
out comes clean stuff,
zero ounce of effort needed.
washing machines rock.

Monday, February 18, 2008

varied life experiences result in people of varied working style.
we cant expect people to behave the same way.
if we do, we are just putting onto ourselves undue stress from unrealistic expectations.

retrospection is important.
reviewing, reflection, evaluating.

so we move on better and more effective.

we dont muddle muddle through the limited days of our lives.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

back from service.

was feeling discouraged over certain happenings.

we all wanna be effective in what we are doing,
and we like good states of things to remain as they are.
but yeah, we have come far enough in life to realise
that the only thing that remains constant in life is change.

anyway, the presense of God encouraged me.
through the time of worship,
tears came streaming down
as God told me thats its ok, that i am only human.
Daniel reminded me that when we are weak, God is strong in our lives.

pastor taught us about values.
it is so true.
we need values in our lives.
they are the anchors in our everyday decisions.
otherwise, we are just unstable reeds swaying through the course of life.

hard work.

love suffers long
and is kind;
love does not envy;
love does not parade itself,
is not puffed up;
does not behave rudely,
does not seek its own,
is not provoked,
thinks no evil;
does not rejoice in inquity,
but rejoices in the truth;
bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.
love never fails.


Thursday, February 14, 2008

Little Superhero Girl

I feel like a little girl
Trying to conquer the whole wide world
Everybody wants a piece of me
And I just don't know where to turn
I've got work piled up to my head
All I want to do is jump into bed
And wash away my troubles
with lemonade
Play hide and seek
with the boy next door
Take a trip to Singapore and
Imagine how I'll make the world
a better place

All I need is a good disguise
One where nobody can recognise
That I'm feeling so small
All I need is a secret weapon
I've gotta have faith
Zapping monsters into outer space
I'm gonna be a Superhero


If I were a little girl
Trying to clean up the whole wide world
I'd kick the bad boys back to school
Teach them fighting's just not cool
I'd give every kid a teddy bear
Turn starving people into millionaires
Break glass ceilings with dynamite
sprinkle a little sugar and spice
Turn the bullies that terrorize
Into pink poodles that bark,
but don't bite

All I need is a good disguise
One where nobody can recognise
That I'm feeling so small
All I need is a secret weapon
I've gotta have faith
Zapping monsters into outer space
I'm gonna be a Superhero


Little Superhero Girl
Little Superhero Girl
Save me
Little Superhero Girl
Little Superhero Girl
Save me from myself

I feel like a little girl
Trying to conquer the whole wide world

Wayne was nice enough to help me with the shift.
I brought 7 bags of things and my 2 pillows.
Packing the night before was not as daunting a task as expected.

The toilet cubicles have low walls.
I imagined bad people jumping up and scaring me over the low door.
With every entry, the toilet door slams itself real hard and loud.
And one only hopes it is another hostel-lite,
for the hostel compound is open,
and anyone can enter and perform their mischief.

The first night was fun,
Jieying, Wayne, Melvyn and I drove out to bowl and we were conned into a long, long journey into a part of Kranji that overlooked Johor.

The second night at Jurong Point NTUC,
I realised "Ice Mountain" mineral water bottles were going for $1 for 2 1litre bottles and $0.95 for 3 600ml bottles.
Well done.

My room-mate told me that there is a lingerine thief in my block.
Somebody's bra just got stolen from the hanging net outside her unit.

Anyway, it is a stage of getting used to my new dwelling.
Anxiety and fears for my safety.

ok, I better go and begin my 1800 words literature essay.

eve of shift. 13feb.

If expectancy could yield the outcome,
news of a hostel would have arrived in December.

Yet, as the days went by, hope turned into despair.

Then, at the turn of the lunar new year,
the office called me up.

Maxine brought me to the hostel compound.
Nice red exterior.
Spacious rooms.

The next day,
armed with the keys,
I greeted my new dwelling.

It was later in the evening that I met my room-mate,
who welcomed me with such reassuring warmth.

Great start.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Yihan, 28jan.
(really cool entries. check them out!)

Had a superb service.

Dr Bernard just has a way of putting across terms in an articulate, sophisticated way.

God sees us not as we are, but what we can be. We can be the junkiest of the junk, but God never sees us as that, but what we can become in Him.


Jack Neo came up to share his testimony and about his movie on stage!

He said that when he was making Ah Long Pte Ltd, he felt that there was something missing in the movie, but he couldn't figure out what. Then he prayed to God and asked God for direction, and " I believe God spoke to me, and gave me a prompting and I found what was missing" Wow. This from the mouth of Jack Neo. Haha.

"And as for what God spoke to me about the movie, go and watch it and I believe God will speak to you too!"

That was funny. Haha.

And Pastor said that Liu Geng Hong is giving Jay Chou Bible study and he's getting more on fire for God each day! Wow. =) Praise the Lord. I think the public declaration of his faith will be the most impactful throughout Asia in time!

I told God," God, I want to be part of all these, I don't want to left behind.."

watched i not stupid 2 on tv.
the second half only tho.
came home at that time.

classic lines.
"nobody ever cared for me. i never knew how to love."
"there are no kids that cannot be taught, only adults who do not know how to teach."
"dad, i stole the money to buy one hour of your time to come and watch my performance."
"everyone needs encouragement and praises. be extravagant with your compliments!"
"awaken the angel within each child."

watched cj7 too.
the paternal love.
the sacrifice.

Friday, February 08, 2008


photos by Wayne Lim

im getting a decent digital camera soon.
needa capture moments of my life with my own eyes.

meanwhile, these are from ahping!

Teacher Estelle!

train station. =)

dont you think we look like real sisters? =D

Thursday, February 07, 2008

ahGong shared that he was very sick at his work hostel.
the kind, young lady that took care of him later became his wife.
he was 23, she was 20.
they had 6 children in 7 years,
before she passed on from asthma.
my mother was 6 then.

ahGong showed us their photos.
such a sweet-looking lady.
how grief must ahGong be when ahMa left him for good.
and how much she had to be missing out on,
life, love and joy.

Monday, February 04, 2008

saturday morning.
sat there.
the presense of God came.
a great sense of purpose fell upon me.

Jesus entered into their world.

sunday afternoon.
such a burning pain in my heart for the lost.
it's worth it. it's worth it.

sunday night.
spending time with people of my kind of conviction.
some sanity.

so much of being in the world,
to realise i'm still of my kind,
is a relief.
still sane, still sane.
caught some of their fire,
caught the sweetness of the friendships.

the other side of the world,
aspects for admiration,
but hey,
they are different,
they are different.
be wise.
be wise.


Thursday, January 24, 2008

disappointments are inevitable in life.
when things seem to be going so well,
we hope such days would last forever.
but no, they don't always.

but yeah,
we treat each life with all sincerity.
we live each day right and true.
we do all things with love.

Sunday, January 20, 2008


9am-5pm was the facilitation course.
then 4 hours of tuition.

Spencer is so cute.
my primary four student.
He is so cute and so easy to teach,
i think i'll keep this tuition going.

"five loaves and two fishes" running on this computer.
nice song.

so tired.

dont feel good.
haven connected with any frens today.

to feel connected is to have loved and feel loved.
connected is heart to heart.
connected is soul to soul.

heart to heart.
soul to soul.


song changed to "the prayer".

I pray you'll be our eyes
And watch us where we go
And help us to be wise
In times when we don't know

Let this be our prayer
As we go our way
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your Grace
To a place where we'll be safe
La luce che to dai

I pray we'll find your light
Nel cuore restero
And hold it in our hearts
A ricordarchi che
When stars go out each night
L'eterna stella sei
Nella mia preghiera
Let this be our prayer
Quanta fede c'e
When shadows fill our day
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace

Give us faith so we'll be safe.
Sognamo un mondo senza piu violenza

Un mondo di giustizia e di speranza
Ognuno dia la mano al suo vicino
Simbolo di pace e di fraternita

La forza che ci dai
We ask that life be kind
E'il desiderio che
And watch us from above
Ognuno trovi amore
We hope each soul will find
Intorno e dentro a se
Another soul to love

Let this be our prayer
Let this be our prayer
Just like every child
Just like every child

Needs to find a place,
Guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be safe
E la fede che
Hai acceso in noi
Sento che ci salvera

Friday, January 18, 2008

and so,
2.5 weeks into NIE.

found friends.
found fun.

NIE is made up of tall buildings,
i feel inspired walking along them,
looking up.

up the second floors,
you see green in the near distance.
beautiful green tropical rain-forest.
i cant take my eyes off it.

it is sunny,
and great clouds painted the blue sky with some white.
mr wind is usually very generous.
i love the warmth of rays on my face,
i love the wind blowing through my hair.

i love life.
i hope you are too.



Sunday, January 13, 2008


Wednesday, January 09, 2008

they love all and they welcome and accept all.
whoever, whatever.

young or old.
fat or thin.
tall or short.
clever or stupid.
pretty or ugly.
rich or poor.

everyone has a potential to become a friend.

there is no prejudice, no stereotyping.
some people pretend to accept all,
but still, you sense that acting.

but this is no pretense.

love and acceptance.
and im quite amazed.
and im challenged.


Five Loaves and Two Fishes
Corrinne May

A little boy of thirteen
was on his way to school
He heard a crowd of people laughing
and he went to take a look
Thousands were listening
to the stories of one man
He spoke with such wisdom,
even the kids could understand

The hours passed so quickly
the day turned to night
Everyone was hungry
but there was no food in sight
The boy looked in his lunchbox
at the little that he had
He wasn't sure what good it'd do
there were thousands to be fed

But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus
the kindness in His smile
and the boy cried out
with the trust of a child
he said:

"Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
to feed them all"

I often think about that boy
when I'm feeling small
and I worry that the work I do
means nothing at all

But every single tear I cry
is a diamond in His hands
and every door that slams in my face
I will offer up in prayer

So I'll give you every breath that I have
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All that you need is my "Amen"

Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
I hope it's not too small

I trust in you
I trust in you

Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
no gift is too small

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

zone thanksgiving.
ahPing won the most changed award.
Jesus changes lives.
im proud of you Rouping!

Zhizang and Delicia were both nominees in the event too.
Well done!

watched a movie about what a lady did through the one year from her breakup.

her emotional journey.
guess its never easy.
its very pain.

but yeah.
after an entire year,
she found herself again.

Joy, peace and Love to you.
have a blessed 2008.

Monday, December 31, 2007

MIRA - my friends from a YMCA volunteers' camp. =)

a thorn among roses...

...and a rose among thorns... haha.. no la... =P

my beautiful mother n my handsome father. =D

i stand tall in this life. =)

Joseph n Mary n their baby Jesus! =D
and my father n me! =D

and this is Daniel.
the coolest brother everyone wants to grow up with. =D

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

the brightest candle in the darkness of youth.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

sometimes its the simplest thing.

seeing people responding to altar call will make me tear.
its the presence of God la.

my life was dark and now it is bright.
i know.
so im really happy for them.

thank God He is so nice.
He is so nice.
with Him, its a warm fuzzy feeling in your heart.
you feel so much peace in your heart.
woah! =>

Saturday, December 22, 2007

its not the race for the fastest, the most, or whatsoever...
its the race to LOVE.

Jesus did all that He did bcos of LOVE.

love is a deep concern for a person's well-being.
not any other motive.



my princess.

nice? =P

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

a mother's love.

a father's love.
my father said something wrong over the phone yesterday.
frustrated, i hang up without a word. (ok, don learn this k, its bad.)

yeah, and he rang me up several times,
i kept cancelling his call, still irritated.

after many many times,
taken aback by his persistence,
i picked up the call.

he apologised.

a father is persistent.
persistent love.
he wouldnt stop till he is being accepted.

a father's love.
A Father's love.
God's love.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

dreams get us going.
the nus graduate survey asks me if i wanna further my education.
i wanna go Oral Roberts University to do Masters in Education.
i think thats so cool.
in time to come!


and i need to tell you about my experience up going up the high elements at the camp.

it is those high stuff you climb at OBS,
with harness and belaying...

if i didnt remember wrongly,
the one and only time i did those was 7 years ago at OBS.

and so, i watched the rest go up,
trying to stall time for my turn...

a certain fear of heights is inevitable i guess...
and this is life and death,
if some freak thing happened and the harness didnt save my life,
i would be either handicapped or dead.

and my turn came.

i had to climb a ladder to reach a certain height to cross the obstacle.
this one was a 5-swing obstacle.
i had to get on 1 swing, stabilize myself, then reach for the next one,
and the next one till i complete the obstacle.

climbing up the ladder,
mu body told me it was getting higher and dangerous.
my brain told me to get down as this is dangerous.
my heart began to pound.

but as my team cheered on from beneath,
i climbed on, reluctantly.

reached the top of the ladder.
"gosh! what have i got myself into!!"

anyhow, there was no turning back.
i just had to trust the harness and my belayer.

at the second swing, which was the more challenging one since it was smaller,
my arm strength began to fail me.
such an obstacle didnt really depended on our arm strength,
but since i was using my arms to cling onto the rope for my dear life,
it was a toil on my arms.

and so, i felt like this was gonna be a failed attempt,
i told myself it was time to let go and go down.

but yet...
the crowd beneath cheered on and on...

you know something...
there really is so much power in spoken words.

they told me,
"you can do it!"
"try again!"
"it is possible!"
"estelle, go for it!"

with that,
i was encouraged,
and not wanting to disappoint them,
i tried again, and again....

and yes!
the swing was conquered...
and i moved on to the next one,
and the next...
and the next...
and i successfully conquered this challenge!

in life,
i thank God for friends who would cheer me on when i needed a pat on the shoulder,
i thank God for Him and His word that give me so much hope and courage.

no man is an island,
we need one another,
we need to be encouraged.
and i believe in the power of affirmative words.


the second obstacle i had to cross was two ropes.
one rope for one foot,
walk through.

i realised when i looked down on the ropes,
i moved really slow.

but when i take my eyes off the ropes
and placed my eyes in the distance,
i was faster.

halfway through,
i fixed my eyes on the destination,
which was a log,
i moved even faster.

with the experience with the swings previously,
this was much better,
i had more confident.

this was conquered.

let us keep our eyes on the reward,
not on the problem.
stay focus on the task at hand.
never give up,
but become better with each experience,
and we are on our way to victory!


Monday, December 17, 2007

#Zhi Zang# Badminton is my passion. says:
this time, i like to read bible le
#Zhi Zang# Badminton is my passion. says:
dun know why..
#Zhi Zang# Badminton is my passion. says:

since the dawn of time,
people have observed the skies and grouped stars into celestial patterns.
the basis of constellations is mythology
- but believe it or not,
there are some real stars out there,
right before your very eyes.

to the world,
you may be one person;
but to one person,
you may be the world.
everyone is a star
- one star on its own is special,
but put a few stars together and they shine more spectacularly than they would on their own.
stars give people hope
- have you ever seen a falling star?
maybe not,
but if you did you'd make a wish on it and hope it'd come true.

as sure as stars shine bright in the sky,
you know they are there.
real stars are not the superstars you see in Hollywood
-they are your everyday heroes.
they are the people in your life:
your family,
the ones close to your heart,
the people you look up to,
the friends who support you in times of need.

reach for the sky,
and let's shine with the other stars.


also, the camp allowed me a better understanding of these people with special needs.
really, they are very nice people.
"thank you" are often heard, coupled with warm smiles.
actually, many of them are well assimilated into the mainstream,
you do see them working at fast food places etc...
yeah, they next time i do see them in public,
i wont have to shun away,
cos' now i better understand them,
they have been misunderstood by me!

the last time i was away from home for so long was taiwan emerge 2006.

had 7 days of almost non-stop camping.
breakaway n y-camp.

y-camp is the most meaningful camp i ever attended.

it is an outdoor adventure camp for people with special needs
-with mild mental retardation, down syndrome, cerebal palsy or autism.
while for the usual camp, we have perhaps 1 team leader taking care of 10 people,
such a camp requires personal attention given to each camper.

and so, the volunteers each took care of one camper.
depending on the condition of the camper,
some had to be assisted in bathing, feeding, movement etc...

it is a really meaningful camp because,
without the sacrifice of the volunteers,
these campers would never be able to experience climbing the high-elements
(like those at obs),
they would never get to do outdoor cooking or pitch a tent,
they would never get to dragon-boat.

the amount of effort to plan and organise this camp is huge.
i salute YMCA.

i saluate the social workers of the centers these campers attend too,
for without them,
these dear ones with special needs would probably lead boring lives,
but the social workers provide love, care and a nuturing environment for them to develop their potential.



i'm glad to be able to have a little more time to fellowship with christine, yihan and daniel.
christine's got character!
yihan wants to make his life count for Christ!
daniel wants every youth to be impacted for the better!

i was really impressed by many ones in my team,
seeing their selfless, tireless efforts in serving the campers.

i'm glad to know more people,
people of all kinds,
each one beautiful in their own way.

i'm glad to be have the chance to share with Ice my story of how Christ changed my life.

i'm glad to be able to try the high elements, have a real campfire and do dragon-boating!
it was like back to sec n jc days! hee!

and so, yeah... the camp is such a treat to this vacation of mine.

this camp happens every june and december.
let me know if u wanna go together.



w260 at Breakaway Prom.

Team 1 - Socool! =D

Thursday, December 13, 2007

draw near to God,
and He will draw near to you.
This is His promise.

the problem is,
do we even attempt to draw near to God?
the devil uses the tv and the internet to steal time and energy from us,
and at the end of the day,
we are too tired for God.

know the tricks of the devil
and go against them.

we love God,
and we want more of Him,
and we will seek Him,
we will draw near to Him,
and He will draw near to us.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

broken away!

it is Encounters with God that truly transform our lives.
the young. the young. the young.
lend a helping hand.

i brought home alot more than i expected from Breakaway.
i hope it did for you too - Mal, Gwen, Zhizang, Delicia and Rouping!


Sunday, December 09, 2007

save me!
i wanna sleep but i cant sleep.
my nose is blocked.

i called my best fren and she suggested drowsing myself with cough syrup.
i dont think there is another cuter best fren in the world.

i think i need more friends.
we all have many people around us,
but people are all different,
we dont always get people that flow nicely with us.
i need more friends!
friends that flow!

ok estelle,
go back and try and sleep k?
ok la.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

at the end of the day,
it all boils down to character.
do we do what is right, or do we go the convenient way?
will we be faithful till the end?

Jesus asked, "My child, will you help me guard this little gate till I come back?"
The child agreed.

Children began coming around this child, asking him to come play along;
The ice-cream bell calls out from a little further off.

But the child stood still.
A promise is a promise.
He will do what is right.



was chatting with a christian friend.
she remarked that she has many suitors, but no christian ones.
was surprised to hear that she didnt put this issue in her prayer.
if life partner is such an important issue,
why isnt it in our prayer to God?
(ya, like what yihan keeps saying abt this - pray.)
who knows, perhaps the moment she began praying about this,
she got to bear the headache of choosing the right one from the many christian suitors.

lady, pray k? =D
God is a good Father. =)

Friday, December 07, 2007

count your blessings.

we tend to see the half-empty aspect of the glass
and miss out on the half-fullness of it.

let us see the roof above our heads,
for there are those who perish on the street in the cold.

let us be thankful for this very existence to experience life - the joy, the pain.
for there are those who do not live till thus far in their life's journey.

and... many many more...

everytime we wanna utter or entertain a complainy, whinny thought,
let us see the half-fullness of the cup.

count our blessings.
count my blessings.
count your blessings.

last December was rather memorable.
as with every holiday,
vacation job was the norm.
first the oh-no-who-wants-to-hire-me fret,
since i would be one of many many unleashed from the shackles of school for a slight freedom, and for various reasons, needing or wanting a vacation job.
and whatever the job that was kind enough to take me in,
i had to make the best out of it.

anyway, and so last December landed me in quite an interesting job.
the 3-in-1 business was about to commence.
-children's gym cum party retail store cum cafe.
and so we did everything that was needed to ready the shop with a terribly huge land space.

i had a one-day experience as a children's party helper.
it was quite a sight!
bright colours and balloons and cakes and candies and happy children!
but the birthday girl was emotionless as her cake was presented to her with cheers from all her friends.
i wondered if it was because she had grand birthday parties all her life, she could not appreciate one anymore.
thats quite a sad thing actually.

while the shop was not ready,
we did a christmas sale at the atrium of that shopping mall.
and it was from scratch.
the goods were flown in...
and we spent hoursssssssssssssss unpacking them, displaying them, price-tagging them. we learnt how to use the cashier, we learnt some goods-displaying tactics...

the customers came and the customers were gone.

and the shop was almost ready,
and we shifted everything up.
and more goods came in,
and that took us 24 non-stop hours to prepare them to see the world.

and the hours stood at 10 per day.
and i almost had to miss service every week,
God must had intervened.

haven seen a cafe from zero turned hero.
so it was eye-opening...
the cups and plates came...
the menu was out...
the ingredients were delivered...
the first customer came...
the first order prepared...

the gym was even more fascinating...
it was essentially a huge playground for the kids,
not forgetting the adult-size swing that could swing me to heaven. (of cos' not!)

children's parties make big money...
i thought chalet parties were good enough,
until i saw how else the parents could spend their money there.

and that was that.
my entire December 2006.
i even had to miss zone thanksgiving.
27 working days.
10 hours per day.
$4.60 per hour.
but an eye-opener.

and so, December 2007,
im officially out of the vacation-job market,
one less competitor for the rest(heehee),
if i try having one,
i'd be breaking the law.

a pity i never had the chance to really work in a cafe or fast-food,
i think there are things to learn there.

anyhow, zhizang and rouping can tell me more about it.


look far and look upright.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

joke of the year
(based on a true story)

professor: i need you to come back to the laboratory on Sunday to harvest the cells before they die.

student: sorry prof, i need to be at city harvest to harvest my cell group members.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

fill in the details and many great inspirational videos await you!

New Life says:
the best thing i did for them is to let them know that i love them, honour them, believe in them and see the best in them always
New Life says:
i have a heart for the youth, and believe that every one is destined for greatness

cgl, newlife church


every movie experience gets a person suck into it for that 2 hours.
that is why it is important to be selective about the movies we choose to be engaged ourselves in.

i like meaningful, realistic movies.
im a sociologist after all.
i care about the human condition.
(ok im making myself sound important i know, haha!)

no epic movies, not realistic.
no violent, gory ones. fight fight fight, not bored ah?
no ghostly ones. i dont believe in frightening myself.

but of cos', everyone is different,
and i cant always insist on what i like.

anyway, that movie yesterday...
is a bit of a thinking kind.
it was on my mind as i slept yesterday.

obviously, that guy is schizophrenic,
since he made up a new wife in his mind, in place of the one that left him.

but at the same time,
he really does have unearthly power that gives him the ability to see what has happened.

from the christian point of view,
we see how the carnal man in us can take over and destroy us,
and that is why we got to have the mind of christ,
we got to have the spirit of god,
and not yield to the base and ugly.

at the end of the movie,
it was back to square-one,
wanting to protect themselves,
the people lied and made up convenient stories to their advantage.
the ugly human.

lets be beautiful.
beautiful ppl of God,
of character.

watched freedom writers
im so inspired.
i think its everything a teacher wanna be.

quotable quotes

"do i look like a teacher?"
-on her first day to work

"they will not be graded.
how can i give an A or a B for writing the truth right?"
-on encouraging her students to write daily about their lives

"i want each of you to make a toast.
we're each gonna make a toast for change.
and what that means is,
from this moment on,
every voice that told you, you cant, is silenced;
every reason that tells you things will never change, disappears;
and the person you were before this moment,
that person's turn is over,
now is your turn."
-on inspiring the class for change

'nobody ever listens to a teenager.
everybody thinks you should be happy just because you are young.
and they dont see the wars we fight every single day.
and one day my war will end,
and i will not die.
and i will not tolerate abuse.
im strong.'
- a teenager

'my mum kicked me out when i got myself into gang life,
but i would like her to see me graduate.
i would like that to be when im 18.'
- a teenager

'we are all ordinary people, but even an ordinary secretary or a housewife, or a teenager, can within their own small ways turn on a small light in a dark room. ya?'
- guest speaker to the class

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

it doesnt feel right that we have the truth,
while others were never exposed to it.

it doesnt feel right that they heard the truth,
but never experienced enough love to know in their hearts they can embrace this truth.


Sunday, December 02, 2007

hey hi.
im glad today is over.
was half dreading and half expecting the arrival of today.

dread cos i had to wake up at 530am to be on time for usher at jurong west.
expecting a new move of God in this new service tho.

it was nice having the leaders' meeting at the coffee shop.
Beatrice was bright and early and excited.
She is one woman that amazes me.
Her energy, her ability to spur her people on.

by making the first meeting of all the ushers of jurong west a breakfast session,
it broke a lot of ice.

it was a great start.

and we prepared the hall and the people came.
a lot of memories ignited.

it was at jurong west that i spent four years of my church life,
the latter two i was an usher under Caiyun and Florence.
those were really very memorable days.
we were drilled and discipled and pushed out of our comfort zone,
we were polished and we realised for ourselves what we can do if only we give it a try.

and now, im back here.

i remember when we first went to expo,
i was thrilled that there was so much moving and breathing space at expo!
now back at jurong west,
space is so limited,
we struggle to breathe!

but i really do like the cosy feeling of jurong west,
the seats allow people to sit closer together,
its a nicer feeling.

yeah. gwen n mal n delicia n kamy,
so proud of u all!
made it to jurong west so early!


my heart skipped a beat when i read this.
i need to blow this up, print it out and put it right up on my wall to read everyday.

You do what you have to do, to do what you want to do.
Patricia Fripp

Phil Pringle

The world lies at the feet of the disciplined.

Everyone dreams. But only the disciplined will accomplish theirs.

A dream without disciplines is the pathway to frustration, anger, and deep disappointment.

Even a dream from God has no guarantee it will come to pass.

Success of the dream demands discipline.

Start disciplined, stay disciplined, finish disciplined.

Disciplines are the way of life.

Morals, finances, attitudes, emotions, relationships, work, devotions; all require discipline to be healthy and successful.

Friday, November 30, 2007

sandra is rather inspiring.
she inspires faith.
and that, really, its all in the attitude.
let us always choose a christ-like positive attitude in life! =D

sorry more shots from the wedding. still no sign of the bride... who else took photos!! haha!


so, when are we closing our first million dollars deal?

it can be a tiresome job.
sometimes we even wonder why we are doing such.

but when we take our eyes and focus them on the Purpose,

we tell ourselves,

"hey! what we are doing is of such great value!"
"in fact, we need to do it better!"
"go for it man!"

His strength and grace, more than enough!
do it with the Holy Spirit!


Wednesday, November 28, 2007

theres a song thats inside of my soul.
its the one that i've tried to write over and over again
im awake in the infinite cold
but You sing to me over and over again

holding on to the great dreams.

Monday, November 26, 2007

this is for my dear Zhizang.

colour: Black & Screaming Pink
food: i like all things CHEESE, i go pastamania wanna pour all the cheese in but ben stopped me. =P
song: everything uplifting!
movie: everything meaningful!
sport: i love to run long-distance!
day of the week: ok i pretend holy, i shall say i like church day! =P
season: spring! when all the flowers bloom!!
Ice-cream: chocolate-mint!

Mood: hungry. (hungry is a mood meh? =P)
taste: i taste milk, cos juz drank it. haha!
clothes: im wearing my JC cross-country jersey. its bright yellow! as bright as me! desk-top: im using my bro's pc. he has 3 small soft-toys on his table. ok he is not gay k. guys who like soft-toys are brave, cos they dare to show their gentler side. =)
toe nail: no nail-polish please. everytime i paint them, i keep looking at them and cant focus on the teacher teaching.
surrounding: my bro room is orange in colour. this is his orange-creative-boxroom annoyance: my nose is a little tiny bit not well
thoughts: find food to eat after doing this

best friend: maybe my primary one buddy?
crush: don tell you. haha
movie: really cant rem!
music: Guo Fu Chen, you know? HK one. everybody likes him in pimary school! haha!

cigarette: will never have my first. i wanna live till 100 years old. =P
drink: yieling's wedding, dono wat white wine.
car ride: yesterday's taxi to expo?
movie: the gameplan with kamy!
phone call: with my new usher leader yonghui
CD played; i dont buy cd. (im not pirate too huh.)

1 thing you do when you are bored: msn, blog.

5 friends to do this:
(ok lets see, who reads my blog?)

bye! =D this is for u Zhizang! =D

we want tutor!

female tutor
student: pri 6 english, maths, science
twice a week in the evening.
start in december

email me at now!

if God is love and God is powerful,
why do we still live selfish, defeated lives?

we need reminders.
reminders that we ought not to wallow in our little lives,
but to view things from God's perspective.

is anything too hard for the Lord?
is anything too hard for the Lord?

if the answer is no,
why do we worry so much?
why do we make so many complaints?

if God can make a road in the wilderness and
even create rivers in the desert,
i mean,
is there really anything too hard for the Lord!?

let us cling to the Spirit of God,
the Spirit that looks onto the positive in all things,
stay clear of the negative spirit of the world.
it is base.

the House of God is a dream-center.
it is where dreams are found,
it is where dreams are encouraged and inspired to be turned into realities.

we tithe money
we give the first 10% of the money we have
to tell God we put Him first

we want to tithe our time as well
we choose to give our time to be in God's house
for He matters to us

By Vanessa Williams
Theme Song of the movie, "Casper"

Every now and then we find a special friend
Who never lets us down
Who understands it all
Reaches out each time you fall
You're the best friend that I've found
I know you can't stay
But a part of you will never ever go away
Your heart will stay

I'll make a wish for you
And hope it will come true
That life will just be kind
To such a gentle mind
If you lose your way
Think back on yesterday
Remember me this way
Remember me this way

I don't need eyes to see
The love you bring to me
No matter where I go
And I know that you'll be there
For ever more a part of me you're everywhere
I'll always care

I'll make a wish for you
And hope it will come true
That life will just be kind
To such a gentle mind
If you lose your way
Think back on yesterday
Remember me this way
Remember me this way

And I'll be right behind your shoulder watching you
I'll be standing by your side in all you do
And I won't ever leave as long as you believe
You just believe...

I'll make a wish for you
And hope it will come true
That life will just be kind
To such a gentle mind
And if you lose your way
Think back on yesterday
Remember me this way

The Traits of Leadership
by Michael Waller

shares of power and information

ppl shld be included in decisions whenever possible and need the same information the boss has to make the best decisions. they wont be able to make any decision unless the power to do so it delegated to them. many leaders are unwilling to share their power and reserve most decisions - even minor ones - to themselves. this defeats inclusion and sets up an 'us vs them" environment. the challenge is including people in decisions without the process causing gridlock.

agents of change
most organisations need to be undergoing constant change to grow and thrive. one of the most important duties of a leader is to shape the change, usually by including others in helping lead it.

apostles of hope
power flows in the direction of hope. hopeful leaders can inspire colleagues to do their best work. nay sayers and idea assassins can only lead to mediocre work.

good listeners
listening is a quality difficult to master but necessary to achieve if people are to believe that the boss really does care about their challenges.

coaches and teachers
one of the most important responsibilities of leaders is to prepare future leaders. teaching colleages is essential to ensuring the health of hte organisation. as baseball great jackie robinson once said, 'an individual's life is unimportant except for its impact on others.'

i once worked for a news editor who stressed that a bad decision is better than no decision at all. to be decisive, one must have a sense of urgency, be responsive and take initiative.


newsrooms are often accused of having a liberal bias, yet are ultra-conservative when it comes to taking risks. most of their best work, however, occurs when someone is willing to deviate from tradition. leaders constantly should encourage risk-taking to get the best results.

enforcers of standards
newspapers should define and then pursue excellence. leaders then should uphold the standards and insist on rigorous peformance management.

effective leaders show extraordinary determination in the face of adversity. figuring out how to bypass hurdles is essential to effective leadership.

leadership standards are all aimed at the final goal: getting the right results in the right way.

i do, you watch.
leading by example.

we do.
working side by side.

you do, i watch.
followers supported from behind.

you do.

people first follow the person,
then the plan.

we aspire to nuture the total development of our students
so that they become
and discerning women
of integrity,
possessing a strong sense of

and they went on to do greater things for God.

start with the end in mind.
frame ideas in the context of the bigger agenda.
initiate changes to pre-empt stagnation.
generate fresh, original concepts and ideas.
recognise and offer alternative solutions.
identify possibilities.
harvest ideas and transform them into great ones.
have structure, organisation and discipline.
be focused on the task at hand.
inspiring character.
the vision of a better tomorrow.
enthusiastic and expressive.
see ideas through to fruition.
reliable nature.
follow through.
attention to detail and precision in work.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

its emo-emo time.

a page turned over.

two months at st joseph convent,
two years at expo.

obviously its not the place but the friendships forged.

st joseph's fine, nice people i met, with many more opportunities to deepen the friendships in NIE which i do look forward to.

expo is terribly hard to leave.
im moving to jurong west with my cell group,
but i cant bring all my usher buddies there. =<

(a min of silence please.)


anyhow, a brand new page opens itself,
cheer up!
welcome to the new life Estelle! =D

seize every chance to make a positive impact,
you never know how short a time you might have.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

life on the edge.

is when you are pushed out of your comfort zone towards your life's purpose.
it is not comfortable.
it takes guts.
it takes a great focus on the purpose.

welcome to the life on the edge.
tighten your seat belts!


btw, my brother is nuts.
he likes this jay chou song "rainbow".
he runs it on his computer like a million times liao.
i hope i don dream of this song.

see this video,
my bro n his gf,
this is a school project.

Thursday, November 22, 2007


its easy to say wanna become cgl
but e road is not easy
God wil put u through fire, real big fire. He'll whack u at your weakest, cos He needs to
n if you cannot stand
den He'll leave you alone for a while before He press you again
when you get out there
you're gonna fight demons
they're gonna come get you at all directions
n come wad may
u gotta stand up and fight
even if it feels like ur doing it alone
even if it means you're giving away ur life
gotta bite e bait and do it
its not easy stuff man
but if we're faithful
God will bring smth good out of it
like how He showed me I got a pride problem from all those series of stuff He put me through
take it easy
n move slowly
e devil knows ur gonna become cgl
he knows I'm gonna become cgl one day too
but he oso know we're not very sure whether we'll becme or not
cos we are human, we're not perfect
so he's gonna try as much as possible to slam you and break you to pieces
n God allows it
cos God knows that His grace is sufficient for Estelle
and den
after e devil attack finish
Estelle will walk out of desert full of e (note!) POWER of the Holy Spirit
den we got back and raid hell and populate heaven
stay strong, stay calm
u would probably be going thru unpleasant times
but at e end, u come out a stronger, battle hardened cgl ready to fight e spiritual war to expand God's kingdom

Pst Ulf says that revival comes when we pray. prayer is spiritual warfare so we gotta fight hard
when ur going thru all those things

e entire heaven is cheering you on ur back

Jesus is praying all day for Estelle, e angels are getting pumped up to bring you more resoruces from God

Holy Spirit is getting ready His anointing

God the father is instructing everyone

Noah shouts to you to keep going on, cos he did e same for 100 years even though no one believed him

Abraham shouts Jia You, cos he felt the same when he waited for Issac

Moses, he tells you to remember e word of God, cos dat's wad brought him out of Egypt

Israel says to wrestle with you flesh, cos he did e same n got his breakthrough

Peter screams at e top of his voice, cos dat's exactly wad he felt when he walked on water

John asks him to shut up, cos he wanna pray for you with jesus

Paul says keep going on, e gentiles are waiting

Martin Luther says by faith it shall be done!

John Wesley says if you don't face hardships, you won't be a good preacher!

Smith Wigglesworth says just read e bible!

Katherine Kurman says remember the holy spirit will help you, wait for him!
if you start to see with your eyes

we're surrounded by so great a crowd of witnesses, lets run the race focusing on the price before us

den Elijah will say
you just need e spirit of God!
cos holy spirit will teach you all things
even when u cannot make it, when ur weak
dat's when ur e best
cos its not longer you
but Christ in u dat does e miracle
now in e event dat u wake up tml n find a slingshot next to you
go get Goliath!

keep your cool girl.
you have ability, creativity and productivity.
come what may,
cos' the powerful Holy Spirit is with you!
go estelle go!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007


some of the ppl that i'm leaving behind for jw. =< ok, hazel coming along! ... Ushering rocks! g1s4 rocks! =D

Tuesday, November 20, 2007



beautiful Kamy celebrates her birthday at hotel lobby... cake on fire? =D

my makeup artiste for the day - the very talented Qingning! ahyo i think she shy la, use fringe cover face... =P

look how cute Rouping looks. =D

Monday, November 19, 2007

i think that not everyone can become the best of friends,
we are all different after all.

but with love, understanding, patience and a selfless attitude
on both sides,
we can have zero enemies.

God is of peace and of love.

it is when we insist on our ways,
and not giving each other a chance,
and not considering what each other is feeling,
that things become ugly,

choose to be beautiful!
choose peace!
choose love!

back from yieling's wedding...
hers is a great testimony...
husband and wife are lovers of God...
grow together...
love and serve God together...

i look forward to mine...
i look forward to having a man that i can grow together with,
to love God and serve God together with...
to share my life with...
one whose convictions are the same as mine...
one whose heart would be stirred in the same way as mine...
one who perceives and appreciates the world in similar ways as me...

we haven found each other...
but yeah...
we will!

Saturday, November 17, 2007

you know that kind of
kind of feeling...
we wallow in our pity-party...
we feel like we're gonna be in this state till the end of time...

i do get that too...
when things dont go my way...
when disappointments set in...

i feel like screaming it all out...
i feel like having the biggest crying-party...
i feel like i'm the most pitiful person in the entire world...

cool it man...
when such happens,
dont think too much,
go pray,
go sleep.
feelings are often deceiving,
you wake up and you look out of the window,
the sun is still there,
up and bright,
the birds are still chirping for you,
and you look into the mirror and you realise
and you are still the prettiest or the most handsome!

smile =)


yes young lady, look upright and look far.
i know you'll go far.

sometimes the world seems strange to you...
with all its strange happenings...
but yeah... keep the faith...
a day at a time,
the world would seem less ailen...
keep the peace...
you are destined for greatness...
yes you are...
you are destined for great things...
for a great life...
keep the faith, keep the peace...
you have a great life ahead of you.
yes you, Rouping. =)

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